As I may have stated before, I was approved for weight loss surgery about 13 years ago. The process for that approval was extremely long, and drawn out. There were tests, letters, more letters, MORE letters, waiting time, more letters. Did I say letters? Finally, I received an approval letter after six months of waiting.... my employer changed insurance companies the next week... good bye dream.
Over the next 13 years I struggled with my weight. At one point getting as high as 420lbs. There are not even pictures of me at that weight!! Actually, I don't think most people even know that my weight even got that high. I pushed through one diet after another... weight watchers, Atkins, calorie restriction, Slim Fast, exercise plans, a nutritionist, protein diets, Paleo, My body hurt, my blood pressure rose, I felt horrible, and after getting down about 160lbs over 13 YEARS, I could not lose another pound. Granted, that was not a steady loss, I actually lost hundreds of pounds over those 13 years.
Let's fast forward to today. I am still 130lbs down from my highest weight, I still watch what I eat, I still worry about my weight every single day. But now, there is light at the end of this tunnel, and it is not a train! I actually have hope that I can truly feel, and be healthy. There are so many things I want to do that I can't do now.
(light bulb moment, bear with me! I am switching up what I intended to write right in the middle!)
Things I can't do because I am fat:
1. Buy clothes that look decent off the shelf
2. Run, any distance for numerous reasons
3. Go to the buffet to fill my husband's plate without seeing judgement because I've been to the counter 4 times in 15 minutes even when I am not eating the buffet. (My husband is disabled)
4. Walk up or down stairs without pain in my knees
5. Walk all day in a skirt because my thighs chafe
6. Wear shorts without them riding up
7. Fit comfortable in public seating at a movie, sporting event, airplane, etc.
8. Take a full body photo, or be front and center in a photo
9. Go on, and on for days about why being fat sucks..... so I'll stop here
Ok... back to regular scheduled... blogging:
For those that wonder, here is how I came to the decision that I have:
Research until your fingers bleed. Read reviews, check out the surgeons credentials, ask questions, and don't take anyone's word for anything without doing your best to check it out yourself. I literally put hundreds of hours of research into this before I decided that this is what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to do it. You have to be completely comfortable with the choice you are making.
Choose your surgeon:
After tons of research (there's that reoccurring word) I chose Dr. Jaime Ricardo Ramos-Kelly or Dr. Kelly. I am confident in him as a surgeon, and after speaking with him personally, I know I will be in good hands while I am in Mexico.
Get right with your decision:
Own your decision, it doesn't truly matter how anyone else feels about it. This is your choice. Oh! And, get over the feeling that you are giving up. Giving up is throwing in the towel. This is not.
Anywho.. I am done rambling. If you made it this far I'm impressed!